You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
