Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
