Whoa Z and x make the same sound
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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