the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
