I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dick very happy bro
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
