Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
