I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
