Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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