I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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