Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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