i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
