They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
