i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
