I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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