Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
