I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
