what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
