You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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