i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
