How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize