Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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