you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
