I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
