i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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