butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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