What a fucking waste of an outfit
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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