that's an acceptable place to lick
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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