i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
