I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
