You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
