Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
