my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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