he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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