Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
