1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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