i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
