he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize