Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
