oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
