and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
