Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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