It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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