its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
