i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
