just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
