He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
