How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
