i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
