i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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