Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize