i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
