Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
