I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
