she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
