I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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