Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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