Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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