She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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