My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
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