I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
