if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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