Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
