Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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