I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
