I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
