rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
