wat bout pragnant strippers??
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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