no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
