We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
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