I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
