Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize