I skipped work to stalk him.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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