I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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