is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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