there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
