And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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